never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
