lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
