I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
