I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
