Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
