no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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