So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize