i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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