I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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