Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
