you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
