On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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