awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You are the jesus of drinking
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
