I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sorry about my life...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
