I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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