i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
