I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
