eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
