I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
