If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
