I didn't shave. On purpose
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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