i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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