fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize