Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
