Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
