At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
