Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize