All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
