i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
