the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
