It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
