Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize