I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
