i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
