So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize