When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
