Don't make out with my wife yet
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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