Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
