there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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