So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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