Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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