Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
