you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
