you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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