you win again, gameday.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
