u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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