My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
