Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
