I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
