if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i out mim tonsoeep
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