I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
