absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
