i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
