arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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