Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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