Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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