I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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