The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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