Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
