two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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