Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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