I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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