I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
