nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
