her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
