who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
