i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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