so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
