We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
