i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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