Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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