Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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