East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
