what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
