lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
