let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
