took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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