I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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