i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
