sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
