remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
