He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
As shirtless as possible
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
