There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
