So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Houston, we have a blender
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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