all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
