Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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