did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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