I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
