Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
