dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
