I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
