As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
